Jess’ Neighborhood

One direction can be confusing. Wanting validation for the choices made in this life.  Not getting this from the special people that surround you makes you question your existance within these relationships. Life is hard. I know to evolve as a person you must look back on the journey already travelled to contemplate and catch your breathe, so then you can move forward on the path not yet traversed. I am at this point on my own journey assessing my purpose and for once in my life I am not in a hurry.

It has been a long time since I have last posted as I have found it hard to write lately. Maybe it is the meds making my head all fuzzy or the endless stream of viruses I seem to pick up. I am giving myself a year to get well and to start training as a teacher or an early years professional. I start my children's literature course at the start of october and I am really excited as I will gain so much from it and be able to give so much back. I have an interview on monday for volunteer work, spending 3 hrs a week going into schools to support those children who find reading a challenge. I am really exited. I can't wait to do something worthwhile and to break out of the shell I put around myself. I am actually feeling like a normal human being. I am scared to but I don't want to stay where I am for the rest of my life. I want to move forward and achieve my goals. Hopefully next september I will be starting college. I need to make up my mind which course to do by december as all the places will be gone. I have some hard thinking to do. I would love to teach and education is extremely important to me but the question is whether I would feel confident to stand up in a class of 30 children to deliver a lesson however much I would like to. I think it would be really cool to teach the children history lessons on the greeks, the aztecs and the victorians as well as english. However I feel that I may be better suited to working with smaller groups of children in the 0 to 5 age. It is amazing to see young children. My neice Jess has learnt so much in the space of a year, to walk, to talk, to eat, to enjoy stories and play with other children. She loves to copy connor mainly. I love sharing a picture book to them both, watching their faces light up as they enjoy the story, pointing to the pictures. I love spending time with children, watching the unique way they see the world, full of hopes and dreams. I just need to make up my mind where to go from here.

Would but I could look in her eyes
Would but I could woo her
would but I could read her mind
would but I could sir

Would but I could leave this place
Would but I could save it
Would that I could leave myself
would that I could find it

Would that I could tell a soul
would that one would hear it
would that I could hear a tale
and would that I could feel it

Would that heart were made of stone
would that I could dull it
would that I could wield the stone
that pelted death upon it

Would that I could run away
would that I could rule the day
would that I could sail away
would that I could...

So it is
and so it shall be

Protection: How do we insulate ourselves from the elements? This may be internal or perhaps external conditioning. The female spirit is still suppressed by many in todays world. 

Moths symbolize the female spirit, they try to fly to the moon but never quite make it.

Female armours of clay, copper and paper are brightly coloured, this form is similtaniously strong and nirturing .  

Presentations today was the final thing we had to complete for Public Art. My eyes have been opened to the possibilities within the art world thanks to two fantastic teachers and practicing artists Julie shiels and Glenn Romanis. Their knowledge and encouragement is what its all about and I think thats why we all learnt so much and had fun along the way. I am sad that the class is finished and I suspect I am not just the only one.

After the public Art installation was complete my daughter S dressed this dolly and said she was her little sister.      

S ate dinner with Dolly, took her in the car on trips, and even shared her bed with Dolly. This went on for a week or so but now dolly is forgotten. Poor  Dolly!!!

Great location for a tea party! Lots of passing traffic both vehicle and pedestrian. Weather was kind but one motorist wasn't. This person was upset as S was using 2 car parks. Although S explained she had fed both metres, he was not happy about a dolly tea party taking up a car park that he wanted to use. Before Mr upset moved on he told S that if she left them (the Dolls) there they would get run over. This didn't happen as S eventualy moved the tea party onto the car roof.

Comments were encouraging and most people had a laugh. Making people engage in a piece of art is what its all about. Whether its a good or not so good reaction.           The audience has sighted the piece and thats the first step the rest is up to their individual thoughts and how they choose to respond.

S was asked if it was to do with prostutution to make money so you can afford to park in Geelong. Comments from a passing male drivers," There"s Barbie." Lot of drivers looked back as they passed "The Tea Party." Most people smiled and thats the reaction S was hoping for.

No Parking

Public art 2009

The brief: to occupy a public space usually taken by cars. This was open to your interpretation. Within the group issues surfaced, especially individual comfort  "Will I or won't I stir the Pot !" For myself this was an invitation for some FUN !!!

Idea No.1: "Smiles are Free but Parking isn't !" S would hand out Smilie Face Stickers to passing pedestrians to wear on their clothing. The more people wearing the stickers and passing someone wearing the smilie face triggers you to remember the experience and "Smile". After many discussions S didn't go down this path as during the 80's and illegal drugs smilie face stickers were sold as  Lick fix. And I am definitely no drug lord.

Idea No.2: "It's all about the TICKET". S enlarged a parking receipt from 6x12.3cm to 65x130cm, which was made into a stencil and sprayed using black acrylic paint on shiny white material. The over-sized ticket was used as a picnic blanket ocupying a metered car park outside the Court House cafe on Gerringhap Street in Geelong.

Last night I was talking to Marc about how boring my life has become. So mundane, so predictable. All I seem to do is work, sleep, look after Connor. Marc suggested that I get a tatoo. I said no at first but then I seriously thought about it and it was a good idea. Something fun and impulsive. That I have never thought I would do.

So we went today. I wanted a butterfly at first but I couldn't see a design that I liked. Then I saw this bird in plain black ink. So simple, it was perfect. I was terrified while we waited, I didn't know what to expect but excited at the same time. Truth be told I almost chickened out while the lady was copying the tatoo on the paper. Marc made me go first perhaps he thought I wouldn't get mine done if I saw the artist doing his first. I decided to go with the shoulder rather than the ankle. It hurt less than I expected but it still stung quite a bit. I was glad Marc was there for moral support and a hand to grab on to. I am glad I went first because it seemed really painful on the wrist for him and there would have been no way I would have done it after seeing that.

I saw lots of other designs I liked. Maybe I will get a rose on my ankle next or go back and get some colours on my bird perhaps some blue around the wings.I really like my tatoo. It is a marking of the moment. I believe that the bird is a symbol of who I am. A reminder that I am me and that I must believe in myself. A bird has wings so soar above. A bird is free. This tatoo is a reminder that I can be too.

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I finally crossed the finish line on Saturday after 6 years of hard work. There were moments when I was so close to giving up and I am so glad that I kept going despite how hard it was sometimes. My graduation was one of the most awesome experiences of my life. I got to dress up in nice new clothes and then report to robing and photography before taking my seat in the sympahny hall. I waited nervously while the higher degrees were awared and then they came to the first degrees. I could see the rows in front being ushered to the side of the stage. Before I knew it, it was my turn. While waiting an usher ajusted my gown and the line moved slowly forward. I handed my card to the announcer and my name was read out. I walked forward huge smile on my face and shook hands with one of the senior university officials. He asked me how long it took. Six years I replied. I walked off the stage to clapping and back to my seat. After the closing address, the officials on the stage filed out and then the graduates had to join on the end of the procession. Then I had to wait for my family.

Connor was so happy to see me, he rushed up to me and gave me a huge hug. Told me that when he saw me he was shouting 'well done mommy' really loud. He has been with me through this whole journey. A baby in my tummy when I first began. We went outside to the canalside which was realy beautiful and my dad took lots of pictures of Connor and me in my robe before I had to give it back. I finally got chance to look at my certificate on the way home. Six years of work down to one certificate. It is sitting in it's envelope but I want to frame it and put it on the wall alng with one of the official pictures. My mom will also hang one of me on the wall next to my sister and I will give one to my nan. I wished my grandad could have been here for this moment but sadly he died two years ago. He would have been so proud.