Happy Holidays

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Christmas came in a slow unhurried way. We decorated Cyril~my brother's  2 foot indoor/outdoor cypress tree, and set him next to the fruitbowl and bamboo plant. On Christmas morning, I snuck about the tiny space filling a rubber boot (for lack of a stocking) with art supplies and the necessary new toothbrush and toothpaste. I watched with glee as my brother opened it. And then I lazily went about making a dinner feast. The turkey was beautiful, The stuffing was perfect. And we shared it with another who was not as lucky in the holiday season. Homeless, estranged from family, he joined in our meal, and stayed later to watch a movie. It was a lazy peaceful day. And the best part was in calling my husband...hearing about my stepson, just listening to his voice and relaxing into a peaceful calm.

Two days ago, I got a call from my dad, he wanted to get me something for christmas. Since I'll be moving again soon...there was nothing I could think of that I wanted/needed. Except...to replace the camera that was stolen on my journey out here. And so...he asked me to look for one I wanted. I am so lucky to own something so beautiful. I've been playing with it....and trying diligently to read through the 273 page manual....and already some of the accidetal photos have come out really nice. I am inspired to head out and journey with it.

Today is my birthday. I am 24. Numbers seem....so arbitrary. This year there was no dramatic leading up to it. There wasn't really much of anything, for which I am grateful. Tonight I am treating myself to a movie. I can't have what I really want. I can't be curled up beside my Marc in a comfortable silence. I can't be away from this lonely space. I can't shake away the knowledge that I miss him with every fibre of my core. What I can do is make my way to a theatre, surrounded by strangers in the darkness and maybe lose myself for a few hours in a tale. So that is what I am going to do. Become lost in something other then loneliness.