Thank you for every kindness

Recovery Takes Heart

There are so many people out there that I owe my gratitude. The list is endless. I stopped by the hospital to drop off a thank you card, and the nurses loved it. I visited the patients that I said goodbye to on Monday, and as they rushed up to say hello, and beamed at me with a look~ maybe that of pride mixed with joy, I realized how lucky I really am. How loved. It is odd that it took strangers to show me that. And to you, out there, those that took a moment to leave me a comment, or send me a message, many of which I've never "met"...thank you.

Near the end there, as my mood reached what I call stable these days, I had a lot of time to think. I talked a lot with my nurses. About the future, about where I am headed, about where I actually want to be. There is something about this place that draws me in. Already the concept of moving to Nova Scotia has me tied up in knots, that familiar yearning, in butterfly form. I know I will return here again one day. Most likely sooner than later. But, for now, with all of the chaos, and the trying to be well and stay well, the farm is really the best place to be. A time to reconnect with nature, work hard, and laugh~ a lot. I know this, which calms the butterflies a bit.

One thing I talked about a lot, a recurring theme for me, was my desire to work with people fighting this same fight. The wish to help, to ease, to calm, to listen. And I spoke with one nurse in particular who told me that her whole reasoning for becoming a nurse, was because of the fight she watched her brother battle with Schizophrenia. It struck a chord, started the wheels turning. I never really thought that I could do well at University, though I had considered nursing before. My strength is in words, not in math and chemistry. But I have been looking at Nursing programs. It turns out that Dalhousie University offers a small program in Yarmouth....just a 30 minute drive from the farm. They accept 25 students each year. It is a very small program in which I wouldn't get lost in a sea of faces, in which if I struggled a bit, I could get help before I floundered. It seems almost to me, as though it is destiny...although I'm still not sure how I feel about that whole debate. During the fall, and winter, I could upgrade my math and chemistry to meet the requirements, and apply for the 2010 program. I might even get accepted. If thats not something to be grateful for, I don't know what is.