walk a mile in these shoes

worn out

With everything comes change. Sometimes small, sometimes huge. It's foolish, and impossible to believe that anything will stay constant. Sometimes you never see the catalyst coming, but the aftershocks are felt long after it's begun and ended.

This place, this apartment complex...they call it melrose place. It's not its name, just the name it's known by to neighbouring properties, and to residents here. The people gossip...as people do, except perhaps not to this extreme.

I am the resident freak. Because I went away to hospital. For 3 months. Because no one knows the exact reason, though they've speculated. Because, unashamedly I refuse to wear long sleeve shirts and pants in the hot weather. Because there are scars.

 It's almost funny in a way to watch them go out of their way to avoid me. The way they will crane their heads in the opposite direction from where I stand. Speak to my brother and not me...even if it needs to be directed at me. They are afraid.  Afraid of ME. Which, if you actually know anything about me, you will know how utterly ridiculous that truly is. How I would never ever hurt another person. But...crazy=scary, unless you know differently.

It is knowing this, and being able to laugh it off, which is keeping me from hiding in my house to avoid all of them. That and my brother. Who, if I haven't made the point clear enough yet? Is awesome. Very awesome. Even with his very unawesome parts.

The dogs and I  have been doing a lot of walking, and discovering new territories for us. Beaches, and forests....beautiful places. Places to walk, and dream, and breathe. Which helps a lot with the thinking. Because thinking too much + crazy =umm, well crazier.

There are so many changes left from this. Changing medications, changing doctors. Changing houses, towns, provinces. Changing mindsets. Changing thoughts. Changing careers. Changing beliefs. Saying goodbyes. Closing doors, opening doors. Trying again to succeed. Trying again.

I've been able to glimpse briefly into the lives of many people over the years. Things they've allowed me to share. And everytime it is the same. How very profound and unique each person is. Peeling back the layers like an onion, there is always something more. But underneath, we all strive for the same thing. Understanding and acceptance.

It's not hard to walk a mile in someone else's shoes. But it does take courage, and understanding, and a willingness to accept that which is different from our own beliefs. But the journey...that journey, always makes it worth it.